Not How it's Meant to Be
by leith
Summary: This isn't what either of them had wanted. Post Threads. Rated for language
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me! I dont get any money

Strong language, light violence and there will be sex. Don't read if you'll be offended.

This is another set after Threads. Its a bit different from anything I've done before...

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'I can't do this right now'

'Well when can we do it?' Jack shouted angrily, 'you come round my house to confess…what that you have feelings for me? We already knew that. My relationship fails, you cancel your wedding – and now you just want things to go back to the way they were?'

'No, I, I don't know! My dad just died for fucks sake. As you so kindly pointed out I've just broken off my engagement. How the hell am I meant to deal with any of this.' Sam yelled, 'Just. Get. Out.'

'No!'

Both of them stood in Sam's hallway glaring at each other. The general had, kindly she thought at the time, offered to drive her home. That afternoon in his yard it had all seemed so clear. Now things were back to how they had been for the last 8 years. Both single, both wanting each other. But she couldn't bring herself to break the status quo. She wanted him but right at that moment Sam couldn't see how it could work. She didn't want to talk to him, she just wanted to curl up into a small ball somewhere and wait for everything in her head to calm down. Wait until she could make rational decisions again. But he had kept pushing and pushing until she just snapped. Which was how they had ended up, here in her doorway, shouting at each other.

Spinning on her heel Sam moved further into her house. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of trying to force him out. Jack stared after her. He still could never quite work her out. He had thought it would be simpler now somehow but things were never simple where they were concerned. Making up his mind he slammed the door behind him and followed her through to her kitchen.

'I told you to get out!' Sam turned to see Jack stalking towards her. For a moment her breath caught in her throat. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen him so enraged. Sam froze and he ended up towering over her, his dark eyes flashing with anger.

'Piss off' she managed. The words had nearly caught in her throat but the situation seemed to quickly be spiralling out of her control. Verbal abuse was all she could grasp hold of.

Her words didn't seem to register however as Jack grasped both of her arms and roughly pushed her against the counter before grinding himself into her.

'Do you feel how much I want you?' he said in a low growl his voice vibrating through her chest.

Sam tensed feeling real fear now. With the men on SG1 she had always felt safe and protected. Now she just wanted to run. Jack lowered his head towards her lips and kissed her roughly, forcing his tongue into her mouth. All she could think was _this wasn't how I wanted our first real kiss_.

Her mind flashed back to all the times over the years when she'd imagined them together. All the fantasies she'd had. None of them had been like this. As the images she'd constructed of her and Jack kissing flashed through her mind she felt her body begin to respond. She realised her lips had relaxed, and that the kiss had begun to deepen. More importantly Jack had loosened his grip on her arms.

Jerking her head back she stared up angrily at him and was surprised to see the tenderness in his face. Her angry words died on her lips, her confusion evident on her face. Before she could think of words Jack had turned and left, his deep sigh as he opened the door echoing around the suddenly empty house.

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So? Carry on to the next chapter?


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to dp, SammieAtHome and stargazzr8 for reviewing

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Chapter 2**

Sam sank to the floor until she sat huddled, her knees tucked up to her chin. Silently tears began to run down her face. In just one day she had lost her father and her fiancé, now it seemed she had lost Jack too. He was the person she always relied on; he had said he would always be there for her. Now she'd managed to fuck it up, just like she'd done with every other relationship. With these thoughts running through her head Sam sat on her kitchen floor and sobbed.

Once outside Jack stormed to his truck and threw himself into the driver's seat. He couldn't remember ever feeling that angry before. It had seemed to consume him, he had felt that Sam was slipping through his fingers and all he could think of was to grab hold of her and make her see sense.

'Yeah well that worked really well didn't it!' he muttered to himself. He could still see the look of disgust in her eyes as she had pushed him off. Jack thumped the steering wheel, not sure who he was more angry with, himself for loosing control like that; or Sam for not seeing how easy all this could be – how they could have everything they ever wanted.

He didn't know how long he had sat there but eventually he couldn't handle the emotions bubbling up inside his body. Jack marched back through the house to the kitchen, whether to apologise or berate Sam some more he didn't actually know. All the anger drowned out him though when he saw her curled in a ball on the floor. She appeared to have shrunk and looked so fragile lying there that he couldn't help but reach out and gently brush back the strands of hair which had fallen across her face.

Immediately awake, Sam jerked backwards away from his touch. The flash of fear he saw in her eyes made him feel like a complete jerk. He had never thought that he would see Sam feel that emotion because of him. Then her face crumpled again and she fought to keep back more tears.

'Go away, please just leave me alone'

'Not gonna happen Carter'

Bringing herself under control, Sam stood up carefully schooling her features into a carefully blank mask.

'With all due respect, sir, this is my house and I have asked you to go.'

Jack could feel the anger beginning to boil through him again, especially after the slightly sarcastic lilt to 'sir'.

'Why do you always do this? Always shut yourself off! Can't you drop it for one minute and actually talk about what we're going to do?'

'Why can't you respect the fact that I'm not exactly in a state of mind to know what is going on right now. I need time, please just give me time.'

'I've given you years – how much more time do you need?'

He almost couldn't believe the spiteful tone in his voice but he was too emotional right then to care. A small shameful part of him almost took pride in the way Sam's eyes filled with tears: at least he was getting through her façade. Then her upset gave way to pure anger

'Oh yeah we'd be great in a relationship!' she almost screamed at him. 'We can't even begin one without yelling! How are we meant to get to a first date without killing each other?'

'Aren't you even willing to give it a go?'

'This has been something I've wanted – we've both wanted for so long. What if, well if this one doesn't work…'

Sam trailed off looking expectantly up at Jack. He had been caught so off guard that all he could do for a moment was to stand gaping, not sure of what to say. This pause was apparently too long for Carter's liking as her face because blank again.

'Go or stay, what do I care?'

With that she pushed past Jack and slammed her bedroom door behind her.

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So?


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry this has taken so long to upload! I will be updating my other stories soon too. This didn't go exactly how I'd planned either but I hope you enjoy it

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Jack blinked open his eyes to find himself lying on an unfamiliar couch. His drunken brain tried to remember what had happened. Slowly images filtered through his mind. Carter telling him she didn't care if he stayed or left. Him working his way through all the beer, and quite a lot of the spirits he could find in her house. He couldn't remember much more about the evening though, all his mind could currently manage to work out was that the sofa was very uncomfortable. He managed to get to his feet and stumbled through the house, opening the bedroom door he shuffled over to the bed and fell on top of the covers.

Sam tried to turn her head away from the beam of light filtering through the curtains. The events of the past few days had mentally and physically exhausted her; all she wanted to do right then was curl up and sleep forever. She tried to roll over but realised she was blocked by something heavy lying half on top of her. Her eyes snapped open and she blearily focussed on the silver hair next to her on the pillow. She was pretty sure that hadn't been there when she'd gone to sleep. Sam tried to push the heavy body off of her but only succeeded in partially waking the sleeping man. He turned his head towards her and the smell of stale beer washed across her face. Jack mumbled something unintelligible and slung an arm over her before falling back into a deep sleep. For the second time in as many days Sam found herself thinking that this was not how she had imagined this particular scenario. With that thought she began laughing at the ridiculousness of it all, and once she had started she couldn't stop. Her movement woke Jack who stared confused at his 2IC lying underneath him. His head was pounding and he couldn't work out why he was in the same bed as Carter, especially Carter who was laughing somewhat hysterically. The sudden stillness in his movement alerted Sam to the fact that he was awake; she rapidly sobered up and stared into his face. Jack had done a quick inventory of the situation and realised that he was fully dressed and lying on top of the covers, which ruled out some of the options for what happened last night. He also couldn't help noticing that from what he could see of Carter she was wearing something very lacy and pretty. He really didn't need the image of exactly what Carter wore whilst in bed, it wouldn't help with the whole denial…

Memories started coming back, again, of the argument the night before. He still wasn't sure how he had ended up in the bedroom however, and even less of an idea why Carter had been laughing. Oh well only one way to find out

'Why you laughing?'

He hadn't expected her face to crumple as she turned away from him. Concerned, he gently grabbed her shoulder and shook it slightly

'Hey what's wrong?'

She turned back to look him in full in the face, her eyes glistening with tears, realising his position he pulled back slightly, still holding himself above her but no longer quite touching.

'It's all just so stupid! I have wanted…this for so, so long. Kissing in the kitchen, sharing a bed, everything! Now look at us.'

Jack was still feeling pretty confused, he was pretty sure that he hadn't drunk that much alcohol for a very long time. As he stared at Sam's face trying to make his brain come up with something to help the tears that had been threatening began to fall in earnest.

Jack looked down at the beautiful woman beneath him and did the only thing he could think of. He kissed her. He kissed her how he had always thought she should be kissed as deeply and sweetly as possible. Trying to convey everything he really felt without words. Both their bodies relaxed into the kiss until Sam unexpectedly pulled back.

'You really need to brush your teeth sir'

'Jack'

'Jack'

END


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